


Gumshoe Blues: The Chronicles of Noir & Peni

by prohibitionspiderman



Series: like the stars in the sky, we could live out our lives [3]
Category: Spider-Man: Into the Spider-Verse (2018)
Genre: Gen, and kiCK ASS, peni's concerned about her spider dad ok, slight angst ??, spider dad and his kid solve mysteries, theyre detectives together
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-10-24
Updated: 2020-10-24
Packaged: 2021-03-09 07:07:19
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,797
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27169750
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/prohibitionspiderman/pseuds/prohibitionspiderman
Summary: “Hey, Noir,” Peni says one day from the table where she’s sketching her newest design for her most recent art project. “Do you think you’d ever get a partner?”Noir’s halfway through a sip of his cup of tea (he’d prefer coffee but Ham keeps lecturing him about his unorthodox sleep habits fueled by that coffee) and it takes all his effort not to choke on it. "You mean," he splutters once he's recovered enough to talk, "like a dame?" There’s a lot of problems with that suggestion, but not ones he’s ready to unpack over a cup of coffee at 7am in the morning."No, silly," she says with a laugh. "Like a work partner!"
Relationships: Peni Parker & Peter Benjamin Parker
Series: like the stars in the sky, we could live out our lives [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1842580
Comments: 4
Kudos: 57





	Gumshoe Blues: The Chronicles of Noir & Peni

**Author's Note:**

> i watched the maltese falcon and the maybe 5 minutes total of humphrey bogart's partner existing inspired me to write this

“Hey, Noir,” Peni says one day from the table where she’s sketching her newest design for her most recent art project. “Do you think you’d ever get a partner?” 

Noir’s halfway through a sip of his cup of tea (he’d prefer coffee but Ham keeps lecturing him about his unorthodox sleep habits fueled by that coffee) and it takes all his effort not to choke on it. "You mean," he splutters once he's recovered enough to talk, "like a dame?" There’s a lot of problems with that suggestion, but not ones he’s ready to unpack over a cup of coffee at 7am in the morning. 

" _ No _ , silly," she says with a laugh. "Like a work partner!" 

"Oh." Relieved, Noir takes a moment to consider the proposition even though, really, he already knows the answer. "I'm not sure that's an option in this line of work." 

Peni puts her pencil down, looking up at him with bright eyes. "But all the best detectives have partners! Sherlock Holmes and Doctor Watson - is that early enough for your dimension? What about Eddie Valiant? He had his brother. Ooh, or the guy from that old black and white movie we watched last month!"

“You mean the one who was having an affair with his partner’s wife?” 

She winces. “Well. Maybe that one’s not the best example. But still! You should have someone to watch your back while you’re working. Like me and SP//dr!” She lifts her arm up and said spider bounces at the acknowledgement. “I know everything’s gonna be alright, because SP//dr’s there, watching my back!” 

Noir can’t help but think that’s unfortunate phrasing. “I think anyone I asked to watch my back would sooner stick a knife in it.” Her bright expression wavers slightly, so he adds, “It’s a good idea in theory though, kiddo.” 

Peni looks down at her paper, decorated with colorful sketches, and then looks up again, her face determined. “Well, we can’t just give up just like that! There’s gotta be  _ someone _ out there who’d be a good partner for you.” 

“I work better alone,” Noir says in response but Peni isn’t listening anymore, having gotten to her feet to pace around the room. 

“Who do you know in this dimension?” she mutters, seemingly more to herself than to Noir. “Ooh!” she says after a moment. “How about MJ? Hear me out-” she requests before he can interrupt her. “My MJ knows about the SP//dr project, and she helps Aunt May and Uncle Ben monitor the mech when I’m out in the city! She’s got a great intuition, she always knows if someone’s trustworthy or not. I bet your MJ would be a fantastic detective!” 

It’s a sweet idea. “You’re forgetting one thing, kiddo,” he says, not looking forward to breaking her bubble of triumph. “I’d have to tell her about the Spider-Man thing.” 

“Oh.” Peni’s face falls. “Would that be so bad?” 

Noir tucks his legs up to his chest. “Probably not,” he admits. “She might handle it fine. I don’t know. But I’ve seen what happens to people who know about that little secret.” 

Peni’s eyebrows furrow and she looks down. “Then, what about Felicia? She’s nice, and she knows about the Spider-Man thing.” 

Noir ignores the sick feeling that comes with her name. “I’m not sure she’d be too fond of that idea, doll. She’s had enough trouble from me. Besides, we’ve only been on speaking terms for a couple of months. I couldn’t ask her to do something like that.” 

Peni absorbs that information. Finally, she looks to him with a smile. “Okay then.  _ I’ll _ be your partner!” 

Noir blinks. “What?” 

“I’ll be your partner!” Her eyes shining, she continues, “It solves all those problems! You don’t have to tell me about the Spider-Man thing because I already know, we’ve known each other for  _ ages _ , and I can look after myself!” Proudly, she adds, “Besides, who would be dumb enough to cross you when you’ve got SP//dr on your side?” 

“That feels like cheating,” Noir says on impulse, because he’s not sure he’s properly processed this idea yet and he doesn’t know what else to say. 

“Pfft. Don’t the villains in your dimension cheat all the time?” 

To be fair to her, she’s not exactly wrong. But it still doesn’t do a whole lot to make him feel more comfortable with the suggestion. “This dimension is dangerous enough for me, and I’ve been here all my life. I don’t want to put you in danger, too.” 

“Stop it. You sound like my dad,” she says, rolling her eyes fondly. “I just told you I can take care of myself! You know, I’m trained to fight even outside of the mech.” 

“That hasn’t stopped me from getting hurt.” 

“That’s exactly my point!” says Peni, placing her hands on the table and leaning in. “We worry about you, you know? I  _ know _ how dangerous your dimension is, that’s why I wanna help! You’re always doing things on your own and then I don’t hear from you for ages because you’re chasing some villain and I’m always scared you’ve gotten hurt.” 

Noir blinks, surprised by her forceful tone. The concept of people caring about his wellbeing is still new to him; apparently even after knowing the other Spiders for half a year, he’s still missing some things. “I’d never forgive myself if you got hurt on my watch,” he says instead of acknowledging the warm feeling in his chest. 

Peni sighs dramatically, like she’s annoyed that he’s still not getting it. “But what if  _ you _ get hurt, and there’s no one there to help you? I know you’ve got the phone I made for you, but you never use it! There’s an emergency button on the homescreen so that you can call for help if you need it, you know. But last time you got shot, Felicia had to call for help instead!” 

“In my defence, I was bleeding out,” Noir says automatically even though he’s aware it doesn’t really absolve him. 

“That doesn’t make it any better!” Peni squawks, gesturing uselessly. “That’s what I’m saying! This is why you need a partner, so you have someone to watch your back when something like that happens! I know you’ve got this whole tough guy  _ ‘I’m a loner who does everything myself _ ’ act, but you’ve got us now! You don’t have to do everything on your own anymore!” Apparently finished with her big speech, she levels him with a challenging glare. 

Instead of responding, Noir takes a moment to run over the conversation in his head. Peni’s right - she  _ can _ look after herself, just like any of the other Spiders, even if his morals protest against bringing a fourteen year old kid along to fight a villain or trail a murderer in his dimension. And despite the fact that he’s let himself get used to having a family that knows about the Spider-Man thing, what Peni’s said here makes him realise that the distance he’s kept in an effort to protect them may not be the best method. Despite the fact that his only intention was to make sure they were safe from any dangers in his dimension, it wasn’t working if his methods were only worrying Peni and the others so much. 

She’s still waiting patiently, her curious gaze resting on him. “I’m sorry for worrying you,” he says softly, deciding to speak as honestly as he can. “I think- well, you never know what’s going to happen here, and I thought if I stayed distant then it wouldn’t be so bad if something happened to me. Hold on,” he says as Peni opens her mouth, probably to protest. “I get it. That just makes you worry more. But my dimension is ruthless and I don’t want that to carry over to any of you. Do you know why Felicia wears that mask?” 

Peni shakes her head. “It’s because of me,” Noir says, making an effort to keep his voice smooth and unbothered. “A guy I was tailing as the Spider-Man ended up hurting her because she wouldn’t give up my identity.” Peni looks away. “I don’t want that to happen to anyone else,” he says quietly. 

Peni’s quiet for a moment. “But what about you?” she says finally. “I know you’re trying to look out for everyone else, but who’s going to look after  _ you _ ?” 

“I’m getting there,” Noir says before she can continue, holding up a hand. “If you’re going to be my partner, then we’ll have to set down some ground rules.” He ignores the warmth that rises in his chest as Peni’s face lights up. “First of all: you’re in black and white everywhere we go. You need to blend in.” Peni nods, a solemn expression on her face. “Secondly:  _ think _ before you jump into a situation. I know impulsive decisions are apparently a Spider thing, but this job requires patience and stealth. You jump in without thinking, things’ll get all wet. And third: if something does go down badly, you make tracks. I don’t care what’s happening,” he continues as she tries to interrupt, “you get out of there, and you get help.  _ No matter what _ .” Trying to make sure these words reach her, he says, “It’s easier to get out of a situation when I’m not worrying about you as well.” 

Peni looks mutinous for a moment, but then she closes her eyes with a sign. “Okay,” she says in a way that says she’s not happy about it. “But the same goes for you! You don’t take any unnecessary risks, and if you get hurt then we  _ both _ get out of there! It doesn’t just go one way. Deal?” 

Noir can’t help laughing. He should’ve known Peni wouldn’t let him get away without any conditions of her own. “Deal,” he says, offering a hand to her to shake on it. 

Looking satisfied, she says decisively, “We’re not shaking on it.” Then she holds out a fist and, when Noir copies her, bumps them together enthusiastically. “I’m gonna teach you our own secret handshake one day,” she says with a considering look, before grinning. “This is gonna be great!” She throws her arms around Noir’s waist. 

As usual, it takes him a moment to respond to the sudden physical affection. Peni’s face is pressed into his chest and her hands are bunched into the back of his coat. Carefully, Noir places a hand on her shoulder, suddenly irrationally afraid that even the slightest touch will break her. He has a moment to wonder if he’ll regret this decision, and then Peni looks up at him with a smile. “Thanks for listening, Noir.” 

And suddenly the idea of having a partner doesn’t seem so frightening. 

**Author's Note:**

> id say "ill update this soon" or something but whether or not i write is like trying to measure grains of sand with a single broken pencil but im soft for this concept so. one day ill write more for it


End file.
